Communicate agilely - reach different personalities!

I'm top prepared. I hope the interview goes well - but will I reach my interview partners?" The little question mark is justified. Often the "how" of communication cancels out the "what".

Why does communication seem to work effortlessly with some people and run less smoothly with others? Often you hear, "The chemistry just isn't right." The key to success in communication is agility - focused on the goal while being flexible, adaptable and deft. This allows you to attract a wide variety of personalities, whether sober fact people, hard-nosed challengers, approachable relationship people, introverted deep probing opinion people, or easy-going contactees. This increases your success in different contexts, whether acquisition talk or network chat.

Reflexively, we like to start in "communicate as you would like to be addressed" mode - the well-known 'golden' rule. But this default mode falls short when we consider the diversity of people in terms of their preferences in communication and interaction. If you want to reach others, you should use the platinum rule: "Communicate the way your counterpart wants to be addressed."

Appropriate address promotes motivation and engagement and reduces stress reactions. Verbal and nonverbal signals play an important role in this. This was recognized by psychologist and transactional analyst Dr. Taibi Kahler, who has been researching the connections between personality and communication since the 1970s, also with the support of NASA. The exciting thing: People send signals from second to second via word choice, tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures and body posture that show their preferred mode of address. This means that we have all the information we need for agile communication at our fingertips at all times.

Flashes - Six Energies that Shape Personality and Communication.

Do you know people who display empathic energy and like to approach the world with a smile and warm tone? Others spread action energy, direct and charming, and stand before you resolute, upright, without much facial expression. Surely you also know personalities who are lively, energetic, present with a lot of facial expressions and gestures, radiating lightness and humor. On the other hand, you will encounter people with rather expressionless facial expressions and monotonous tone of voice, they show little dynamism and exude introverted energy and deep calm. And do you know personalities with the committed, attentive energy of an opinion-forming person, who is present with a firm investigative gaze and reduced gestures? Surely you also experience in your environment the sober logic energy of a figures-data-facts personality who stands upright in front of you with pointed gestures. Energy is the first thing that becomes perceptible in contact and the first point of contact for successful personality-oriented communication. It is essential that we do not approach others with our preferred energy, but rather use our entire communication potential flexibly and agilely and activate the appropriate portion depending on the situation.

How do I get into the different energies?

A common question is, "Do I need to act?" The answer is a clear No. Authenticity and agility are not contradictory. I can also purposefully activate my little-used energies and modes of communication.

Here are a few initial exercises to help:

Explore your preferred energy. If you know it, you will avoid using it as the default in every conversation situation. Find anchors for little-used energies. Imagine a situation where you are in the appropriate energy - what do you perceive about yourself? Example empathic energy: In which situation are you present with empathy? Perhaps with your partner, your children, or even your pet. How are your facial expressions? Softer? Smiling? What is your tone of voice? Warmer? How are your gestures and posture? Facing? Open? Find out what helps you activate that energy in other contexts as well. Is your anchor the conscious eye contact, the smile? Do this exercise analogously for the other energies. Everyone discovers personal anchor points. Often physical triggers help. For a playful, spontaneous and loose energy it can be helpful to give up the fixed stance and to act with standing and playing leg. Conversely, for action energy, a firm stance and a certain friendly look without a smile can help. Reduced facial expressions and a deliberately slowed pace of speech help to get into the introspective, calm energy.

Communicating in a present and flexible way, focused on your counterpart's personality, potentiates your conversational success. And here's a reminder to apply the P•L•A•T•I•N rule for agile communication:

P for Presence: be in the situation with your head, heart, hand. Turn off your head cinema that frets about yesterday and fears tomorrow!

L for Listen: Listen actively; pay attention to the "what" and the "how" of communication. Read your counterpart through word choice, tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, body posture!

A for Adapt: Use your communication potential outside your own preferences. Communicate according to the situation and the other person - playfully humorous, caring-emotionally, fact-oriented-logically, with a clear attitude-value-oriented, thoughtful, developing or requesting-action-oriented!

T like Try: Just do, without fear of being wrong; The reaction of your counterpart shows you from second to second if you are right!

I for Iterate: Optimize the communication with your counterpart with every observation from second to second!

N for Nurture: Pay attention to your own energy. Only those who charge their own "batteries" can act flexibly and respond agilely to their counterparts!

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